The Island

What is it about coming back home to Singapore? There will always be a period, usually in the first 48hrs where I will go through some form of a culture shock. The culture-shock for this trip begun at the immigration counter where I smiled and said hello to the officer but got completely ignored. It was then that I realised that I was back in Singapore; a place where time is of the essence, and efficiency supersedes social graciousness.

It didn’t take me long to re-accustom myself to the social demands of the country. When I was driving on the road on the second morning, I made an unforgivable mistake; I gave way. Perhaps I could pardon myself that I spent the last 6 months in Melbourne, but I should have known better than to bring with me the mindset of a Melbournian driver. When I gave way on the road, not only did I annoy drivers behind me, my initiative was not returned by any gesture of appreciation from the driver whom I gave way to. I felt cheated, in a way similar to serenading with a guitar beneath someone’s balcony only to be told that she doesn’t like you and you can’t sing. Okey, maybe it didn’t feel that way, and no, I have never tried serenading with a guitar, but the point is I felt stupid giving way on the road. That sensation of stupidity could have manifested into road rage if not for my continuous reminder that it was not worth it, and I was on a holiday.

The difference between life in Singapore and life in Melbourne was apparent; there was a certain sense of pessimism and negativity that consumed me in the first two days I spent there. I met up with four of my old friends. Out of the four, two told me about how they just couldn’t wait to find a job overseas and get out of the fruitless life on the island. Although they were getting a decent pay, they complained that life felt like it was going nowhere. I have to agree, the constrains in Singapore is suffocating; eight years to pay off a car loan; twice that to pay off a three-room flat; weekends are spent shopping in the Great Singapore Sale which I found to be not that great after all.

I was listening to 95.0FM, on the morning show, Glen and the Flying Dutchman were bitching about the ridiculous increase of ERP prices, and the extension of toll to include Saturdays. It was the same time when I drove my mom to Suntec for a conference, and that trip cost me $4; $2 to pay the toll and $2 to pay for entry into the CBD. It was madness. I had to pay $4 just for a 15mins trip. I can fully understand when my friends were tellingl me that they feel suffocated. Cost of living is so high, but where is the outlet? Shopping? - stuff in Hong Kong is cheaper. Food? - expensive and quality is not what it used to be. Movies? - cost $10 a movie now. The prices are escalating and the value is diminishing. I cannot pretend to appreciate what my friends are going through, and I can just reflect and feel lucky that I get to taste the life of living overseas.

Despite all these, there were moments where I sensed some signs of optimism for life over here. There aren’t a whole lot of them, just bits and pieces of moments shared with family and friends. That’s it isn’t it? At the end of the day, you may be dwelling in a shit hole but it is your loved ones that make it bearable. Home is where love is, although I will miss the wine tasting, café hopping, and jazz clubbing life of Melbourne, it will be difficult to turn my back at Singapore – a suffocating island of nothingness save the people there that make it bearable.