End of Semester Sentiments

Seven years in Uni, the end of each semester has never failed to fill me with this sense of closure. I can’t really articulate this feeling; be it being a student or a tutor, it is a time where you feel tired, sapped from energy, yet strangely refreshed and with a mild sigh of relief glad that you have past another hurdle.

Tomorrow will be the last lesson before my students head for their exams. I do feel a little sad that i won't see them as often. I feel empathetic at the same time because I know what it is like when the exam period starts. I reminded them two weeks ago, “when you are in the examination hall, you will be in my thoughts, as I lay sun-baking on some beach in the tropics.” They probably hated me for saying that, but I do wish them well. My regret is that I still can’t get all their names right. I have too many classes to teach this semester, I remember them by face, but there are just too many Andrews and Sarahs in my tutes.

I feel tired this evening, but glad at the same time. How often can I give myself a pat on the back and say you have done well. I am very glad that I’ve managed to get most of my work out of the way. I surprise myself that I was able to develop my research instrument and write a conference paper all in a week and a half. That I guess, is the power of working with a deadline. Maybe I should be looking forward to my trip back home in two days time, but strangely I’m not. While I planned to spend 3 weeks doing absolutely nothing in Singapore, the unexpected plans keep rolling in; traveling to Hong Kong then to Beijing….. ….. my plans to not plan is in turmoil. It stresses me.

I guess that is the problem with me isn’t it? I plan too much, and dream of impossible fairy tale endings that lies eons away and I will convince myself that I can plan for such endings to be realised. This observation was revealed to me by Belle earlier today. Bless her for being so insightful and being the voice that speaks to me in ways that make my otherwise forlorn moments encouraging and purposeful. She is an absolute gem.

It is the end of the semester, perhaps a time to reflect. I know that despite my pitiful whining at times, I am a very lucky person, to be able to pursue something that I love, to be placed in a position of comfort and to be blessed by some of the most wonderful people around me that don't mind a less than perfect soul, to say the least.

It is the end of the semester.... .... a bit of a break and I know that i will find a new source of energey when the next one comes around. Bring on semester 2!