Post-Holiday Trauma

I know that I will suffer from post-vacation disorder; it is a bit like watching Never Ending Story when you were five and your mom comes along to turn off the TV just when the fluffy white dragon was soaring through Fantasia. I wouldn’t say that I’m in the midst of depression and in need of a shrink to make me draw quadrants, but I do feel like a five year old kid stomping one foot on the ground yelling ‘I want my holiday back’ in a way so annoying that has ‘slap me’ written all over it.

It is amazing that after being away for a month and a half, I could still find my way to the office. Well not literally, but it is no easy ordeal to muster the mental strength to drag my ass to sit before this very computer. I have almost forgotten how the entire charade at the office works. That is; the charade of pretending to work as part of the pre-productivity ritual, before spending three hours on the Internet and then spend half-an-hour later to do enough to return home without guilt. I wouldn’t say that I’m terribly thrilled to be back, especially when today marks the start of my final year meaning that I will spend a lot of time stressing over what I was supposed to do.

First day in the office and there are already signs that this year will be anything but a smooth sailing Disney ride through midget world with little plastic munchkins singing ‘it’s a small world after all.’ I was told, or rather, the last one to be told that we will be moving offices. I got really stress and I had to quickly recite the ten commandants from Who Moved My Cheese to curb with the hyperventilation. I will so dearly miss the serenity in this office which induces sleep like a swaying cradle on an autumn’s day. I am stressed because I have no clue how the new office will be like; will I be able to prance around in my singlet and slippers? Will I be able to sleep without students disturbing me? Will I have enough power-points to charge my mobile phone, digital camera and Bluetooth headset? There are important issues at stake and surely the administrators would have considered some sort of congress for this purpose.

Then, I was told that my supervisor has recruited two more doctoral students this semester. I never knew how my sister felt when I was born, but it was probably a little like this…….. She (my supervisor) doesn’t love me anymore! I was the apple of her eye, her favourite student, her only student (literally), and now I have to share her attention. I’m not sure what it is, but maybe the reunion with my primary school mates last week has unlocked the child-like persona in me and that spoilt brat has been coming out to play rather often lately.

Welcome to 2006, day one in the office. The journey appears to be arduous one, the last hurdle may be the most challenging of them all, but one final leap, one final push will probably bring me to the finish line. As some wise old man whom I never knew and probably never existed would have said, “grit your teeth and take the leap; all you really need, is a good place to sleep.”

I wish my new office has pillows.